My Protective Inner Child

So I've been following the Weight Watchers plan for six days now. I'm guardedly optimistic about the weigh in tomorrow. I know that you just never know, sometimes you can follow a diet and not lose weight for a while. All I know is that I'm sticking with the plan either way!! I hope there is a decent drop (each week).

I've been doing some soul searching and feel my extra layer of fat I'm carrying is related to inner child issues. It's like a protector I've put around myself that is isolating me from the rest of the world. I tend to be a person who chose 'fixer-uppers' as romantic partners. Always seeing their potential and ignoring where they were at the time. After my divorce, it was like I was done. I didn't want to go through that again. And, because I had young children at the time I didn't want to subject them to my penchant for fixer uppers (a big pet peeve of mine is people who put dysfunctional partners before their children). So, the days turned into weeks, which turned into months, which turned into years, and now here I am 110 pounds overweight (see picture below).

I've done a lot of inner work and now it's time to tell my inner child that I'm a big girl now and can hold my own. No man is going to come in and take over my life - my boundaries are strong now. My compassion is still strong but I know that I will never keep someone dysfunctional in my life just because I feel sorry for them or that they need me more than someone who has it together. I've come to realize that Divinity has sent me some people to help but that it's not necessary to marry them LOL.

So how did my inner child gain so much control? I'm not sure. I think somewhere along the way I just gave up and stopped taking good care of myself. Isn't that what a alot of moms and wives do? We channel all our energy into caring for everyone else and then don't have enough energy or interest in nurturing ourselves. And, who do we admire? Those mothers and wives who take care of their family and themselves! Well, time to change all that for me! I'm worth it!!!!!!

I subscribe to TUT Messages from the universe http://www.tut.com/and the message today is so appropriate to what I just wrote! I love it when synchronicity like this happens!!! Here is the message I received today:

"If you had been born knowing how beautiful, deserving, and important you truly are, Janice, by this time in your life you'd probably be worth billions of dollars, have thousands of friends, and own businesses around the world, but then... you wouldn't be anything like the Janice Olson we know and love today.And believe me, when I say "we," there are a lot of us.

All in favor...

The Universe

P.S. You're a special treasure, Janice, and all of life's trimmings are well on their way. "

What a wonderful message for me and all of us!!!!!!!!

Here are my before pictures!! I hope to post my progress in words and pictures. Tomorrow I'll post what happened at the weigh in!!

I'm the blond on the right. Look at how my shirt in the back just keeps going out - that's because of my big butt!!

Here's one that shows just how dumpy I feel. My legs and butt are a big problem area. Only recently has my stomach joined in the party!!!!!